I Need a Life Change

I’m sure many of us have been in situations where we have felt that something has to change or something has to give, before we can be at peace again. It’s that feeling where you’re not quite comfortable with your situation but often can’t exactly pinpoint what needs to change in your life. It may be on the other hand, that you are clearly able to identify what needs to change but making that first step towards your goal, can appear as challenging as climbing Everest. For some, the changes they need to make are often illusive and manifest themselves as anger, stress, physical ailments or mental health issues.

We are brought up with certain standards, values, and cultural expectations. As children, we are taught to please the adults in our world and are rewarded for our efforts. If we as children have been unable to trust the adults in our lives, our situation becomes even more topsy-turvy and perplexing. As adults too we are often faced with others who don’t appear to belong to that reasonable world we have come to expect. For them the betrayal of trust and self-serving attitudes dominate their relationships. On the other hand, many of us have been brought up to internalize values of how we treat others and do the right thing. Treat others as you would wish to be treated, is a very valuable rule and you could argue necessary, if we want to function in society as a law-abiding, caring, citizen. Where it becomes problematic though is when we are so entrenched in having to meet the needs of those around us, that we forget self-care and become instead, people pleasers. Breaking out of the habit of this mold is not always easy as we can experience dissonance between what we believe our internalized values tell us to do and what our hearts may be telling us that we actually need to do.

I often wonder how many people are caught up in unsatisfying relationships as the embarrassment of saying no, around those they would disappoint, becomes stronger than listening to their own hearts or gut instinct. As adults, setting healthy boundaries with family members is tough but for many, it is a necessary step for their own self-preservation. In relation to the workplace, we seem to see too many people these days, who find no joy in their daily work lives. They drag themselves daily from their beds to perform their jobs with robotic precision, much like hamsters on a mindless never ending spinning wheel.  I can well understand how many feel they need a life change. I suppose in short those who think they want a life change are in some way dissatisfied with some aspect of the way things are at present. Your level of awareness and recognition that change is necessary is a big step forward.

Before we launch into making these life-changing plans however, we need to take a long hard look at where we are and be totally honest with ourselves. Life coaching can provide the structure for you to do exactly that. Life Coaching can help you gain clarity, construct your vision, map out the potential steps to achieve your desired result and provide the support to help you meet your targets. In considering life changes, Life Coaching can help you to gain clarity by exploring the why. Why do you want a Life change? Perhaps you hope to increase your confidence, to be able to start setting healthy boundaries with family members and others, to change your relationships with others, to have the courage to apply for that special job, the list is endless. To make changes we need to explore where we are now, where we want to be and how we are going to get there. That is the fundamental recipe for moving forward.

I often think that many of us can fall into the trap of living our lives much like a television soap opera. We can unwittingly create and crave drama in our lives where none really exists. This is where being mindful of the chatter that goes on in our heads can be invaluable. So too were aware of the stories that we are continually telling ourselves. These are stories that may have no truth other than in our own minds or they start off with a grain of truth but due to our own, fear or worry we embellish them and they can escalate into a crisis. Becoming consciously aware of your thoughts and their role in creating how you interact with the world, can be life-changing for sure. The Life Coaching process is Life changing as it begins to unpick and challenge our long-held beliefs and assumptions, not only about ourselves but about the world around us. They say that change first begins on the inside and then we can see it manifest outwardly. I guess we are all guilty at times of blaming others or circumstances for our misfortunes. The ability of being able to appreciate how our own thoughts, words, actions, and attitudes have created the world in which we find ourselves is indeed life-changing. Are you ready for that life-changing challenge?

 

Elaine J A Wood